Why Boundaries Are So Important After Leaving An Abusive Relationship

This memory was about a couple of months after I ended it with the Narcissist.
I had been teaching my then 4 year old the Irish words for colours, helping her to understand that we speak in the english language not Irish language and that we are Irish.

Anyway, the Narcissist was dropping her back one day and he had that look that made me think “he’s mad”.

I have no memory of where our daughter is at this point but he asking me while intimidating me if I had a new boyfriend. I told him I didn’t because that was the truth.
“After experiencing Narcissistic abuse, the last thing I’d be wanting to do is jump into another relationship!”
Anyway, he wasn’t believing me and he yelled “well why is our daughter telling me that she’s English, not Irish. Do you have her around an English bloke?”

I sat at the bottom stairs while he stood two metres away, then he kicked the carseat which had been by his foot and the carseat hit off my bare foot and causing a scratch.

That was just how paranoid he was and was still trying to break me down. I set a boundary that he wasn’t to come inside the house anymore (So I can close the door on his crap if he starts yelling again)

Boundaries are so important to protect yourself and start the healing process. Don’t try and be nice to them by letting them visit for the sake of the child. They will always tey and hurt you any way that they can. You are not being mean by creating this boundary. You are doing it to protect yourself.

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