When you’re in an abusive relationship and you feel so stuck, lost and hopeless, you can actually feel the toxicity they have injected into your mind leaving you an empty shell.
I had checked out of my mind leaving my body feel paralysed.
I was disconnected.
I wasn’t aware of time anymore. My mind checked me out as what I was experiencing was trauma.
I had been taking in his words about me to be true consistently for so long. Everything he said to me made me feel ashamed of myself.
I didn’t deserve my child—I felt!
He threw things at me
Kicked things at me causing injury
Insulted me about the clothes I wore
The make-up I wore.
locked me in the house with him when I tried to leave with my child because I couldn’t bare her to see him shout at me and me shut down like a child.
It took it’s toll on me.
I slept it out in the mornings when my child needed me.
I did nothing around the house.
He took photos of the rooms and showed them to everyone he knew and told me what their response was.
The shame I had felt had just multiplied.
Is that a way of supporting someone?
That is a clear narcissistic behaviour.
They are not normal.
They will always be controlled by their ego and their ego never looks for a solution. It looks to blame.